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Their first night in their own room

If your family is making this change, here's a plan for you and your child. Pick what suits you; you don't need to do it all. Sharing a room suits many families too.

Ezz peeking out from under his blanket at night

Watch together, if you haven't alreadyMy First Night in My Own Room, 5 min. A few days before, so there's time to talk.

Story page and printables

A mother sits on the stairs at night with a mug, near her child's open door

For you too

The first night can feel strange for you too. You might welcome having your bedroom back and still miss the familiar sounds beside you.

Before bedtime, agree where you will be and how your child can reach you. If another grown-up can help, arrange who will respond during the night.

If sleep difficulties persist, distress gets worse or exhaustion makes everyday life hard, ask your doctor for support. You deserve help too.

Read more Show less about this first, for grown-ups

You might welcome having your bedroom back and still miss the familiar sounds beside you. You may also be tired before the change begins. If another grown-up can help, agree who will respond during the night and when each of you can rest.

Keep the parts of bedtime your child knows: a story, a cuddle and the same goodnight words. Talk in the daytime about where you will be and how they can reach you. Only promise a check-in you can keep. If you plan to sit beside the bed, choose a next step that feels manageable rather than a deadline for sleeping alone.

A call or a visit to your room is a chance to find out what they need. Offer comfort and help them settle again. Leave longer conversations about worries until daytime.

You can slow the change down or reconsider it; sharing a room suits many families. If sleep difficulties persist, distress gets worse or exhaustion is making daily life hard, ask your doctor for support. You deserve help too.

Try one or two together

A mother and daughter spread out a blanket on a bedroom floor

Make the room theirsChoose a blanket or a picture for the wall, from things you already have.

A father and son listen with hands cupped behind their ears

Be sound detectivesSit in the room together and listen. The fridge? The pipes? A car? If a sound worries them later, look for its cause together.

A grandmother and child walk along a hallway at dusk with a torch

Walk the wayWalk together from their bed to where you'll be. Check the way is clear, then try it at dusk with a torch.

Ask them: "What feels different about sleeping here?" They can show you or draw it.

Make your plan

Choose what works for your family. Your answers will appear in a simple plan below that you can print and share with your child.

Where will you be?

How can they get you?

How will you help them settle?

You can also choose special goodnight words together, just like Ezz and his parents.

What about the light?

On the night

A father sits on a child's bed at night and listens

If they're worriedListen and reassure them briefly. Leave a longer talk for the daytime.

A boy sits up in bed at night and calls towards the door

If they callGo, see what they need, and help them settle.

A mother and child walk hand in hand to the bedroom at night

If they come to find youStay calm and reassure them. If you're continuing with the own-room plan, help them settle back into bed without telling them off.

Keep bedtime short and familiar, with comfort when needed.

The morning after

A mother and child talk and smile over breakfast in the sunshine

Notice what they triedSay what you saw, not only how the night went.

"You told me what you needed.""You knew the way."

A hard night doesn't undo the good ones. Go back to your plan, or slow it down.

Ask your doctor if the fear is intense, gets in the way of daily life, or you need help.

Questions you might be asking

What if they keep calling me back?

Go and find out what they need, then help them settle with familiar words and comfort. If it keeps happening, talk during the day about what feels difficult and whether your plan needs a smaller step.

Should I stay until they fall asleep?

Sitting beside them can be part of a gradual change if that suits your family. If you want to change that arrangement, explain the next small step beforehand and give yourselves time.

What if they come into my room during the night?

Offer comfort and check what brought them to you. If you are continuing with their own room, help them back and settle them again without telling them off.

What if a sound in the room frightens them?

Listen together and look for its cause, rather than dismissing the sound. In daylight, see whether you can reduce the noise or make it more familiar.

When should I ask for help with their sleep or my own exhaustion?

Ask your doctor if sleep difficulties persist, distress worsens or tiredness makes everyday life hard. You can ask sooner if you are struggling to cope.

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